Witch Salad
by OhHolyCow
Summary: TOTAL CRACK WARNING! What happens when Maka and Soul go to Hogwarts for a bloody and unnecessary Mission? Will Maka and Soul Succeed? Oneshot, complete. but may be updated with more detail and stuff


Witch Salad, or How to Destroy Hogwarts

WARNING: THIS IS TOTAL CRACKY CRAP, IF YOU LIKE HARRY POTTER OR MAKA, YOU MAY BE OFFENDED. TOTAL PARODY! FLAMES ARE WELCOME, BECAUSE THEY WILL HELP MAKA DESTORY EVERYTHING!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter or Soul Eater or anything else! Also! I have nothing against gay people, British people, or Twilight Sparkles, so PLEASE! Don't be offended!

P.S. I LOVE HP and Soul Eater, that is why I make fun of them. lol

Maka and her bouncy hair walked along the emo halls of the Demon Something Something Academy, until she reached the Death Room, because Life Rooms are so mainstream. She opened the doors or whatever, and went inside, where Lord Death and Light Yagami and Ichigo and just about every other anime guy obsessed with death, and Twilight Sparkles (who is also morbidly obsessed with mortality) was.

"Ah! Yes! Hello, um… Maka! I have an assignment for you! If my voice isn't annoying you, then do nothing!" he yelled obnoxiously in his obnoxious voice. Suddenly, Maka began to cry.

"Sniff! No! It's all my fault, Soul! I made your sexy hot appealing appetizing tan muscular abs all scarred! I can't do anything right! Waaaaa!" she said in her whiney voice (oh wait, that's normal!).

"Calm down Maka. Pull your Japanese-American self together! Now then! I actually have something remotely serious to say, so listen up! I have found an _entire_ school of witches, so I need you to hunt them down!"

"Wait… You found an entire _school_ of witches, and you just now notice? You really are-"

"Hello there, Soul!" Lord Death yelled as Micah Solu- HIS NAME IS SOUL! Walked through the doors or whatever.

"'Sup, Death? Oh, hey Maka. Sorry, you're so plain and flat-chested that I didn't notice you" he said, looking in her direction.

"Psh! We don't have time for that, Soul! Lord Death found a whole school of Witches, so we have to go!"

"C'mon, Maka. Can't you be cool and chill like me?"

"Hurry! The stick is about to poke through!" Maka yelled, the stick up her butt going in a little deeper.

"Alright! Alright! Let's go. " he said, strutting down the hall, flashing a smile at some random girl, causing her head to blow up from his coolness.

Maka, in an attempt to become cool, suddenly donned a pair of sunglasses, and began to walk in slow motion.

"Let's hit it, Ace." She said, her face unreadable.

"What…? It's soul. Since when is my name Ace?"

"Shut up! You're ruining the moment, Ace! Hurry, to the Death Mobile!" she screamed obnoxiously as a car crashed in from the ceiling.

Somewhere, on the other side of the world, Death the Kid just died.

Driving in the Death Mobile, Maka and So-ACE departed for Hogwarts.

They flew across the seas in their pimped out ride. Maka, with her cool sunglasses, began to sing the copyrighted Batman theme-song (Take THAT DC!)

"Da na na na na na na na na na na na MA-KA! Da na na na na na na na na na na na MA-KA! Da na na na na na na na na na na na na MA-"

"OK! OK! I get it! Just shut up!" Ace said wish disgust.

"Look, Ace! We're here!"

Meanwhile, at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Yaoi Fanfiction

"Oh me God, Harry! I'm so British I'm about to explode!" Herm…um, Melissa ? No…um…Rachel? Not quite, um… Herman? Let's go with that Said, its voice also extremely obnoxious.

"I know! Bein' British is so kool! I'm so excited for no apparent reason!" Ron yelled giddily, waving his arms.

"Shut up, Ron, you stupid Gin-

POW! CopperCab suddenly burst through the window and punched Herman in the FACE!

"I AM MAD! Do you know how much that hurts? GOD! AHHHHH!" CopperCab screams obnoxiously as he runs into a wall. Harry Potter walks up to his friends, his hair in a magical tangle of lies.

"'Ello, Ron. Oh! What happened to your face, Hermione? It's all ugly!" Harry asked with a hand at his mouth. Suddenly, his scar began to ache for the umpteenth time in this novel.

"AhH! I feel… Grrrr…an extremely cool girl and a hippie… ugh, coming to Hogwarts, ugh… and carrots…AHHH! Lots and lots of…carrots."

Suddenly, Draco walked up to Harry and slaps him in the face.

"I hate you, Potta!" he said in his also obnoxious voice. He turns around again, and vigorously and hungrily kisses Harry on the lips.

"Eww!" Harmione yelled.

"I love you, Potta! I always 'ave! I've just been a total douche for the past three books because I love you!"

"Oh, Draco!"

"Oh, Harry!"

"Oh…"

"Yaoicus getaroomicus!" she pulled out her wand and yelled, sending the pair to the west wing, where _all _the fun happens.

"Honestly! Why did they have to invent HarryxMalfoy Fanfiction? It gets on my nerves!" she yelled, stomping away.

"I don't get it either, Hermione! They ain't getting' none o' that" Ron said, directing his speech to yaoi fangirls.

BOOSH!

Maka and ACE burst through the walls!

"Herp derp witches. I'm gonna take your souls!" she said, slowly taking off her sunglasses. Ace transformed into his scythe form, and Maka began her rampage.

"No! Derp!" Herman yelled as she was sliced in two. Maka began to laugh evilly as she raced through the halls, slicing up everyone in her path.

"No! Herm-" Ron said as Maka sliced him up good.

She broke down the door to the Grand Hall, and began her speech again.

"It's crunch time, Ace! Maka SMASH!" She yelled, causing Madam Whinney Whinfred Minerva Marsha Mary McGonna Something stood up, her nose pointing in distaste.

"Í'll show you! Herpicus Derpicus!" a ball of spaghetti exploded from her wand, and it was headed straight for Maka!

"We gotta do it, Ace!"

"Gotcha, Maka!"

"Let's go! Soul Resonance!" suddenly, Maka began to glow, and fast-paced Japanese music filled the room.

In a flash of might, Maka's scythe transformed into… a slightly larger and shinier scythe! Score!

"Whiny Bag Hunter!" she yelled as she sliced through Madam Whinney Whinfred Minerva Marsha Mary McGonna Something, turning her into a carrot.

"British Derp!" Madam Whinney Whinfred Minerva Marsha Mary McGonna Something yelled as she died a wholesome, orange death.

Maka turned around as everyone in the school began to run like chickens with their heads cut-

SLICE!

Maka turned around viciously and began reaping souls like spraying air wick, with accuracy that gets the job done!

Cries and screams of the students filled the room until nothing but blood was left.

And somewhere else in the world, at the loss of the symmetrical Hogwarts, Death the Kid died…

Again.


End file.
